momlifex asked: Sp relieved to have found there are blogs like this. You have no idea how alone I felt in my opinions on feminism!
Welcome aboard :D
musicbreakshearts asked: Patriarchy tends to paint men as unfeeling and not "allowed" to display emotion. Imagine how men who are raped feel - as if they have nowhere to turn to, or aren't allowed to report it because they should just suck it up. Patriarchy hurts everyone. I'm not here to yell at you for not agreeing with me, but maybe we can agree on something - egalitarianism? For gender? I think we're both pretty cool, and I'd be kind of upset if you and I were doing the exact same work but getting paid differently.
1- Patriarchy is a feminist concept and does not exist. There is no ‘patriarchy’ out to get anyone.
2- Men have no where to turn or get help because of Feminism (Read Erin Pizzey for a start)
3- If we did the same work and I got paid more, probably because I was there longer, never took mat leave, or a thousand other possible reasons for the pay difference.
4- Please try thinking for yourself. It does wonders for the brain.
draculaundromat asked: I think you're missing the point of feminism. The whole ideology behind the movement itself is looking at equality in the form of gender division, just the same as there are movements for other minorities who still aren't treated equal, like people of nationalities other than white, or people who aren't straight. Yes, there are some insane men-hating women in the world, but they aren't following the basic principles of feminism and do not accurately represent the movement as a whole.
Thank you… Please try again.
sinakel-deactivated20130205 asked: Absolutely love this blog, so glad I found it. I'm not sure if this makes sense, but one of the issues I have with feminism, besides the glaring obvious ones, is that I think it goes out of its way too much to try and empower females. Being a female myself, I don't want to feel empowered, honestly. I want to tell them, "just let me be myself and stop trying to tell me to feel a certain way just because I'm a certain gender"
emorenita asked: I rarely ever speak up about this bc of bad experiences before, but one of the things that turnef me off about feminism was the fucked up stats that it puts out on rape, and the painting of all men as rapists and never victims, as well as painting women as only victims and never perpetrators. this sort of stuff erases male victims as well as female victims of rape by other women and as someone who has gone through it, it is especially harmful to see people think only men rape and cant be victims
emorenita asked: People have assumed that ive never experienced rape just bc iI dont identify as a feminist.
I know that you think you are helping women by demanding that we be treated equally and fairly, and I agree that in many third-world and developing countries could benefit from a movement that advocates for women’s rights and equality. But here, in Canada, as well as other developed nations, women are already treated equally and fairly. In fact, women are treated better than men in most cases and benefit from a society that holds women up on a pedestal. So why are you still so angry? Why are you still insisting that women need to be treated with kid gloves and given special treatment here?
I am a woman in a developed nation. I have more benefits and equality than I could ever want. I have more freedom and respect than most women have worldwide. I am able to live quite comfortably and securely here as a woman. I can go out every day in public and not fear being horrifically burned by acid, stoned, gang raped, violently attacked, or murdered. I can choose to go to school, go to work, start my own business, or work from home. I can choose who I want to have a relationship with, who to marry, or to be single if I so desire. I can also choose to have kids or not, and whether I want to be a stay at home mom or not. I can do so many things as a woman here. I have more rights and choices, as a woman, than a man does here. A man is never secure in knowing that he is safe from harm from one day to the next. A man has a lot to lose if his marriage fails, including his kids if he has any. A man can be accused of crimes such as rape and be considered guilty before proven innocent. A man is socially judged by how much money he makes, what car he drives, where he lives, and how he looks. And these are only a few examples of the inequalities between women and men here in the developed world.
So again feminism, why are you still insisting that women need to be treated with kid gloves and given special treatment here? It is clear that we women have it pretty damned good here. In fact we fair better than most human beings on the planet. So why are you still here feminism? Why do you insist on wasting your time here instead of doing good somewhere else where women truly are oppressed and abused?
Feminism, you could do good things in other parts of the world if you truly wanted to help women. If you were really concerned about equality and freeing women from oppression you would not be here. But instead you stick around treating me, and all the women here, as children. You want us to have all these benefits, equality, and respect just because we are women, and not because of our individual abilities as people. You want to take away our self-esteem, courage, convictions, and hard work and replace it with an automatic privilege based on nothing more than our gender. You want us to have rewards without having to prove ourselves worthy or capable. You want us to coast through life, never learning how to support or believe in ourselves as individuals. You want to keep us weak and dependant on others like you for our successes and achievements. And when life throws an obstacle in our way you want us to be unable to handle it and incapable of working to overcome it. You would rather that we cry and blame others for our own failings as individuals, without having to own any of our own personal failings or mistakes.
You see feminism, I am proud of everything I have achieved in my life. I am proud to know that everything I have is because I worked hard and proved myself. That I did not need you to get me where I am today because I did it myself with my own blood, sweat, and tears. And that when something went wrong in my life, I was able to admit the part I played in it, pull myself up, move forward, and learn from my mistakes.
I never asked for special privileges, permissions, or handouts. I rejected the easy road and challenged myself to achieve as much as I could on my own. I fought many battles throughout my life, and I expect to fight many more. Each one teaches me more about myself and helps build my self-esteem, strength and character. Each obstacle in life is not a reason to lay down and cry, but rather a challenge to be overcome. And too many women have relied on you, feminism, to get by in life. It has made them weak and useless. It has allowed them to remain as children late into life, with no sense of what it means to be a full functioning adult with real responsibilities and accountability for their actions. You have not created independent and empowered women, but rather scared little girls who need their mommy to get them by.
I may not be rich, or successful by feminist standards, but I am happy and my self-esteem, courage, convictions, and strength are my most important and precious attributes. I am able to look in the mirror each day and see a strong independent woman who is capable of standing on her own two feet. A woman who knows her limitations, accepts them, and does not let any obstacles in life deter her from living a happy and fulfilled life. I am a woman who has no expectations that others should have to support or hold me up just because of my gender. I do not demand respect from others because I know that respect is hard earned, and not freely given.
If you want to truly help women, then please do. Many women in the third world are truly oppressed and hurting, and could use a sincere helping hand. But please, feminism, stop trying to help us women here because we women here have it all, and more. Women here have become spoiled because of you, and they will only continue to feel entitled to things that they never worked for if you keep treating them like helpless children. It is truly insulting and demeaning to all women here. This is not empowerment, it is infantilizing and degrading. Women deserve better than being treated like perpetual victims and children.
The only thing that is now oppressing women here is you, feminism. And if you truly care about stopping oppression, then you need to go and allow women to be who they truly are based on their own merits, and not because we have vaginas.